Regifting For Dummies

I have a question to ask of y'all. How many of you regift? Me...never! I have such a small circle of friends and family, we'd be giving each other the same thing over and over ad nauseam! Now I'm not criticizing you if you do...after all, I've gotten my fair share of ugly a** gifts in the past. And times are tough and we gotta do what we gotta do, but before you go digging in the closet of Christmas Presents Past, I thought I would share a little 411 on what not to do when regifting. It's an art you have to be well versed in to avoid one very red face. BTW, did you know there is a National Regift Day? I KNOW!!! Neither did I. It's the Thursday before Christmas if you can believe that! This is always numero uno on everybody's list, right?

When regifting you need to make sure you have removed any incriminating tags linking the gift back to you as a rerun. Are you following me? Don't leave TO: Joe FROM: Aunt Martha! Dig? Double check to make sure the only TO is the new recipient of said gift. Oh and you want to make doubly sure there isn't a Christmas card hiding in all the tissue paper. How you gonna 'splain that one, Lucy?

Everybody needs a little Christmas music to set the mood, right?

Next, no giving half empty bottles of liquor (and you can't fill the bottle to the top with water either) and no giving of wine to a non-drinker. Do you want that bottle of Champagne to go down the drain? No candles with a black wick end either. For gosh sakes, take the time to trim the wick before regifting! No expired gift cards from the past year that you never got around to using and ABSOLUTELY NO FRUITCAKE...EVER...unless it's a Texas Yahoo and that's a whole other post! That's one thing I'll gladly accept as a regift!

If this shows up under your tree, you have my permission to call a lawyer.

Bottom line is...if you don't want it, what makes you think some one else will! Ugly is ugly and useless is still useless! Now if upon opening said ugly gift, someone in the room goes on and on about it...well then, maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder and maybe at a later date, you can ask that person if they would like to have it....but clear it with the gift giver first! No sneaking around. It'll only come back to bite you in the butt later!

When regifting food items, be very, very careful my friend. Hopefully you know the person well enough to be aware of any allergies, preferences, health conditions (like diabetes) etc. And for gosh sake...do not regift hangdown to a vegetarian or a lifetime member of PETA!

If you're planning on wearing something before sharing the wealth...a little word to the wise. Please be sure and remove all dry cleaner's tags. dryer sheets, and underarm protectors. Just remember...in all things...what goes around, comes around. Do you really want that Chia Pet back a second time?

Really, this is why I don't regift. It's just too hard to remember who gave me what and I've told y'all I'm lazy! I don't want to have to go over a checkpoint list. Plus and this a big plus, I love to shop. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than trying to find the right gift for the right person. The price isn't the issue...well maybe this year it is! I figure if I know someone well enough to give them a present...I ought to know them well enough to give them something they love or at least that's what I hope for. Psst!!! I secretly want to be that person who, when names are being drawn, everyone hopes will draw theirs. Don't tell my secret...that's just between you and me!

Speaking of gifts to love...wait until you see what I've got cooking for y'all for my 100+ party. You won't want to regift these...bet your bottom dollar! Before you go all vocal on me with screaming...the photo below isn't one of them. This baby is on MY Christmas list this year!

I promise Santa, if you get me this from Anthropologie there will be no one getting it from me next year!

P.S. Y'all know I'm just yanking your chain here...right?

Sunday Morning Funny Paper

This was a busy week for Cat Daddy and I! There is just no rest for the wicked and boy, I must be a holy terror! Santa...please...no sticks and ashes in my fishnet stocking!

We attended a dinner party for a friend's retirement (not that I'm that old you understand...just my friends) and two Christmas Open Houses. One was Mindy's at Primitiques 'n Poetry. She was, as always, a lovely hostess and as always, I bought several things! Some things, thank goodness, just never change...you know what I mean? Fran and Liz drove over with us and while driving we got to talking about Christmas gifts. I told them about a gift C.D. had given me several years ago and Liz insisted I share it with y'all!

(Photo of Mindy courtesy of David)

A few years back he kept pestering me for a Christmas list. He nearly drove me crazy wanting that list, so finally I just sat down and made out my dream list. You know...things I knew I'd never get, but would love to have. One item was a pair of Japanese garden pants and another was a butt!

If you've met me, you're aware that in the backside area...I'm more than just a little badonkadonk challenged. Picture that cartoon guy who always "hankered for a hunk of cheese" and you've got my shape...skinny legs and all! To say I'm a flat bottom boat would be an understatement. Don't get me wrong, if I could turn my head around to the back, I'd have a great rear...problem with that would be my "new" shoulder blades! It's a family thing...I come from a long line of flat butts and to add insult to injury, I also don't have any hips. Everything would slide right on down to my ankles if it wasn't for my belly! See my dilemma?

(I can't see this photo of Sister Trash and me without thinking of that line from "Steel Magnolias"..."These thighs haven't gone out without Lycra on them since I was 14." Talk about a "Mad Men" moment!)

Well, imagine my surprise on Christmas Eve when everything on my list, including the Japanese garden pants, was wrapped and under the tree! Oh yeah...you read right...everything! Old C.D. had made a special trip to Frederick's of Hollywood and bought me an A** with a capital A! Man alive, I coulda served cocktails off this caboose! Talk about backfield in motion...I had it going on! A tushie that a fanny pack would actually stay on! Buns of steel that you could bounce a quarter off! There was only one teeny tiny problem...I still didn't have any hips. My rear was bootiliscious, but (no pun intended) the rest of my bottom half...not so much! Baby had back...but nothing else to go with it! If you asked "Is Trash around?", C.D. woulda had to answer...all the way around!

I guess I needed to be more specific, 'cause what he shoulda got me was this....

The large deluxe edition...the Cadillac of derrieres!

Maybe this year, if I wish real hard, I'll no longer be the butt of jokes! Sigh!

The End and I'll be seeing you in the funny pages!

If Not By Christmas, By New Year's Night

This morning while I was waiting on news of Gloria, I got to thinking about this past year and what a roller coaster ride it has been. I also happened to look at my visitor count (what's the sense in having it if I'm not going to look, right?) and I was amazed at how close I am to 100,000 visitors. Now, while that number may not be ginormous to a lot of bloggers...to me it is HUGE! That number represents a whole lot of diet coke, coffee, DDP, tears, laughs, and everything else we have shared during 2009. Some of y'all are old friends who come to visit through the back door...some through the front...some out of curiosity...and others by just stumbling in when you hit the wrong key! I don't care how you got here...I'm just glad you stopped by! So much so that I think it's time for a party! Yeah, Ol' Trash is thinking it's high time for a hot time in the cold town tonight...well not tonight actually (I've got an open house to attend), but real soon...somewhere around the time I hit the big 100,000! What do y'all think. You know party is my middle name...Trash Party Talking!!!

What say we put on some fancy duds and paint the town red...jungle red? I'm thinking I may hit the my milestone somewhere between Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, so let's make a date! How does New Year's Eve-eve sound to y'all? That way if you have plans to go out and party out 2009, you still can attend mine. I promise not to get in the way of the merriment! Just name your poison, friends and I will shake what my momma gave me like you ain't never seen the likes of before! I'm thinking hangdown would be a great appetizer to serve. It's Santa's favorite around the Casita de Trash!

So mark it on your calendars...unless I change my mind on the date...you know I have a tendency to do that! Oh and be thinking of a theme! I just love theme parties...maybe a masked ball?

Just some food for thought during the upcoming weeks and before I forget...did I mention presents?

Tulula Head Update #2: Gloria is definitely on the mend. As I type this, she is redecorating her hospital room and redesigning her hospital gown...moving the split from the back to the side!

A Simple Prayer

Need a little help y'all. I just got word from Gloria...our head Tulula...that she is in the ER with her appendix. Surgery is imminent, so I'm asking if y'all could, add her to your prayers tonight. I know the strength and power of ten thousand!

Head Tulula Update: Gloria had surgery last night and all went well! She is resting as comfortably as possible and will be able to come home soon! Thank y'all for all the prayers. Gloria also sends you her heart felt thanks as well. She appreciates all of you so much! I just want to add...Y'ALL ARE THE BEST!!!

Now comes the hard part...making the Iron Woman take it easy for a while!

Head Tulula Update: Gloria is now home from the hospital and will be back to driving us crazy in no time at all!

Head Over Heels In Love With White

"Buh bum, buh bum"

"Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me...been an awful good girl

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight...buh bum, buh bum...

Santa baby...."

Oh I didn't see you sitting there. There is just nothing so relaxing as soaking in a hot tub and singing. Makes me feel tingly all over. In case you were wondering, my name is Sweetie Pie and I'm an ever so good friend of Trash. She's busy trying to dig through Christmas boxes and asked if I could give her a hand. As you can see, that's a little hard for me! I sure do want to help so I offered to do a White Wednesday post for her....you know...WW hosted by Kathleen at Faded Charm. I know, I'm a sweetheart...why do you think I'm called Sweetie Pie, silly goose?

I thought I could give you a peek (don't get your hopes up, you naughty thing) into my room mates' home if you like....Fran and Liz just adore white. Actually, they adore a lot of things. These are all my little brothers and sisters they have adopted. Poor babies...at least I have some body and WHAT A BODY, if I don't mind saying so myself! A fire would feel oh so nice right about now. Anyone care to light my fire? Oh you flatter yourself...I mean in the fireplace! What kind of girl do you take me for anyway?

I swan, but we sure seem to be missing a lot of body parts around here. I guess that why the girls love us so much. What do you think?

Excuse me, but I really must go now and slip into something a little more warmer. I have a busy day ahead as well making myself beautiful, but come up and see me anytime! I'll be waiting!

XOXO

Sweetie Pie

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

As promised, here are more photos from the Christmas Open House at Winnie & Tulula's. In the interest of full disclosure (and because I know y'all know I'm not that great in the photography department) I must tell you photos #1, 2, and 8 are David's. Yes, people, I am a thief, but I always warn you (don't I?) I will be stealing, I mean borrowing things. Guilty as charged officer...lock me up and throw away the key...I'm addicted to talent and the King of the cameras has plenty of it! Please take the time to go over and check out his photos. Where we arrange tablescapes, he takes them to the next level.Case in point, this is my little marble topped gypsy table with a lamp attached. Seen from a distance, it's just a pretty accent piece, but through David's lens, she becomes a mystical being evoking all kinds of imagery. See what I mean? The man is a genius and I'm so thankful Mindy has a lock on him, but is willing to share his camera and talent with us! Thanks Mindy, but thank you even more David for taking the time to capture all the glitter of the open house and allowing me to borrow your talent! Speaking of glitter, meet one half of our resident queens of the bling, Liz (Fran is the other half)! She's holding one of the rescue rabbits that were the on hand or maybe in hand, for the open house. Money was raised to help with the ongoing efforts to save these darling bunnies. You can get more information at Winnie & Tulula's if you're interested in helping out! I gotta tell ya... I would probably be such a hater of these ladies' talents...if I didn't love the two of them so much. They are two of my dearest friends and I am in awe of their skills.

Not only are they supremely gifted at the art of display, but they are also extremely generous with their advice and expertise. They have pulled this chubby lady's bee-hind out of the fire more than once, coming to my rescue when I couldn't get a plan going or helping us to get ready for Zapp. They have schlepped furniture, cleaned dirt off of stuff (and me), painted, sanded, loaded, help set me up...anything and everything. They are always there with a smile. Liz's motto is "will work for food"...not so! They work because they have the biggest hearts in the business!

Their booth got hit HARD! No wonder...take a look! I do believe they will be adding more merchandise, so be sure and hurry in to get your piece of heaven!

Before I forget, Ethel ain't no slouch either. Everybody who is anybody knows who she is. I am her number one stalker. She always comes up with the most unique finds and I have never, ever, never bought anything from her that didn't sell immediately! And again...she got hit hard, but with her stuff, there is always something that you can't live without. Trust me...I know of what I speak!

News Flash: I just got off the phone with Gloria and guess what boys and girls? Winnie and Tulula's/Sweet Peas will be open this Monday. She is going to try opening on Mondays thru Christmas for your shopping convenience. YAY!!! Another day to shop for all those unique gifts for all the special people on your list!

Now, if y'all would please all stand, her highness...the queen of all that is beautiful...the high empress of display...is now entering the room. Yes peasants (including me), I'm talking about the one and only Judy Hill!

She and Billy came by to say hello. She gave me a thumbs up...in fact...she gave everyone a two thumbs up! Do y'all have any idea how happy that made me? Judy could retire from selling and just give lessons on the art of merchandising and make a gazillion dollars doing it. Heck, I'd be first in line to sign up for classes! Just name the time and place Judy and I'll be there trying really hard to become teacher's pet!

Here's where it gets really good...now is your chance to see for yourself what she does with junque! Her Christmas open house is this Thursday starting at 10:00 am. Her home is always decked out from top to bottom with everything for sale. Give yourself plenty of time to see and be seen...you'll be going back through rooms time and again to make sure you saw all there was to see and trust me...you'll miss something every time...there's just that much!

I didn't get to go this past year, but I was there the previous year and it is wall to wall perfume. You can't even begin to imagine the crowd of women that are there! You'll just have to make plans to attend and find out for yourself what everyone is raving about!

I've included a photo of her fall show and if you'd like to see more, click here. Click here for all the 411 about location, etc. Mindy, David, and Margo also have photo sets for you to view. It takes a village to see it all!

Ok kiddies, I gotta run now...seems like lately all I do is run! You'd think I'd run some of this baby fat off, but alas no such luck. Anyway, I've got to get started on decorating the Casita de Trash for Christmas. Think champagne tree and top hats! How's that for a tramp?

Glitter, Glitter Everywhere And Not A Prop In Pink!

Well, boys and girls, I am back again with more photos of our Christmas open house. I hope you've got your Visine handy, 'cause good gosh-a-rover but I got a bunch to show. I'm going to be showing mine and Cat Daddy's area today and what do you know...there he is, the big cheese...the one, the only, incomparable man who really needs no introduction...Cat Daddio, my main squeeze! Commercial Break...This photo is courtesy of David, who by the way, has his photos up (so much better than mine) and are ready for your viewing. I failed to get any photos of live people, but thank goodness David is such a friend to let me borrow his!

Now on with the show..... Y'all know how hard I worked on these spaces...after all, you had to listen to me whine about it for the past two weeks, but I think I managed to pull if off without doing any serious bodily harm to myself or anyone else. Anyway, you know that feeling you get right before you go to sleep at night? You know...the one where you sleep peacefully knowing you've done you're best...well, I never got it! I kept thinking if I just had two more days or even one more day. Problem with me is you gotta give me a deadline when it comes to Christmas decorating or I won't stop. Thank goodness Gloria put a time clock on me or I'd still be swinging from the ceiling. Speaking of time...I was almost caught with hair curlers in place, but I got them out before anyone came in. Whew! Safe...or so I thought. Margo had her own little idea. So much for protecting the rep! There are details that didn't get finished, but heck, I got the whole month of December to finish 'em, right? Please agree with me so I'll quit fretting!

Y'all, I gotta tell you...this is probably one of my all time favorite purchases ever! When C.D. and I bought this mantle, I was over the moon and the big wheels were turning. All I could see from that point on was silver! Talk about a twinkle in the eye...doncha just love it when a plan comes together?

Would you believe I actually passed up these white hydrangeas at Kroger's (of all places!)? Y'all, I was kicking myself big time until Cat Daddy went back and got them for me. He is my knight in rusting armor...there were only two left and he guarded them with his life! (BTW, Mindy, this glass store display sure has your name on it!)

I swear up and down, these sweaters were neatly in place when the doors opened Friday at 4:00! They were handled quite a bit and I sold some of them. I gathered these '50s sweaters for a year with this little germ of an idea in my head. Jenn made the chair corsages for me. Do you love 'em? (They are for sale and she can make more! How's that for slipping another commercial in on y'all?) She also made the darling party hats for me. I felt just like a boutique thanks to my number one, crazy mad, talented Trashette! (BTW, she didn't get that gene from me!)

Every year in our home, I hang snowflakes in the hallway. C.D. hung chicken wire for me that he attached twinkle lights to and we leave that up all year. I just climb my trusty ladder with my snowflakes and cuss up a storm while untangling the fishing line. This is just one of the many fun sounds of Christmas at our house...and yet once again, y'all let me digress! Point is, I thought it would be fun to replicate at W&T's but the ceilings there are at least 12' and Debbie doesn't do 12' ladders. So instead, I had poor Miguel hang this naked umbrella for me. I'm sure he thought I had lost my mind until I started hanging snowflakes, then he started having fun helping in the hanging of them! Betcha at first he wanted to hang me!

Remember that hot mess I showed y'all on my dining room table? Well, this is the end result. (Fun Fact: I'm always on the lookout for black & white or sepia toned church plates. I love them!) I have to admit, I placed everything just so...then decided I wanted a runner and had to pull it all off and start over! The menu mirror was from a wedding shower Jenn and I did for a friend's daughter. We just used a sharpie to write with and with a little fingernail polish remover, you can create your own menu!

This is my favorite! Debra and I both collect sheep (although my collection is nothing like hers) and this is some of my excess. I think the large lamb was part of a nativity scene. Charisse was sweet enough to bring me the little, wild cedar trees, risking life and limb to do so...her poor arms broke out in an allergic rash. Somebody give that girl a medal for going above and beyond the call of duty!

Are you not in love with these deer? C.D. bought them just a couple of weeks ago at an estate sale. The eyes are glass and the little fawn have tiny spots on them. Aren't they gorgeous? He says I am making him sell them, but y'all have met my man. Can you imagine me making him do anything?

My version of the little brown church in the vale.

You've seen her before, but never has she got to fly this high! I should mention, while she is for sale, her lingerie is not. Sweet T gave me this little piece of ooh-la-la a couple of shows ago and there isn't enough money in the world to pry it out of my hands...but I couldn't have her flying around nekkid, now could I?

I bought these great Neiman's boxes several years ago at one of the Red Shed's Christmas sales. I used them primarily for my "Santa Baby" mantle last year complete with a Tiffany box and fishnet stocking. Sadly, they are empty (in spite of the fishnets), but a girl can dream can't she? (Fun Fact II: If you or anyone you know, has any Neiman's dress sacks/bags, I'm looking for some!) And speaking of the Red Shed...they are going to be on Good Morning Texas at 9:00 Monday morning, the 30th on channel 8 in Dallas. Michelle has the most inspirational story of courage and determination, so be sure and watch. Also, they have another show this coming weekend. You can get all the details here! Maybe you'll be lucky enough to find the contents to my boxes there!

Before y'all think I went crazy with the glitter...we bought Rudolph this way!

I needed something to balance my mantle vignette and Lily was on hand to lend a hand. She gave me the paper white to put in my mercury glass candle holder. Have I mentioned what a great group I get to play with at W&T's?

OK y'all, that wraps up Phase II of the Christmas tour. Be sure and gas up your shopping buggies, 'cause Phase III is just around the corner!

What a Christmas miracle that would be to have gas at this price again!